Real Care Playbook: How to Reflect and Mirror

What you say and do can make all the difference. Here are some tips from the Real Care Playbook:

Seek to understand

Actively try to understand the triggers, impacts, the story and the needs behind what you’re being told. Ask questions like, “Have you been feeling this way for a while?”

Ask open questions

Use questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer to help them explain what’s going on and how they’re feeling.

Reflect and mirror

Repeat back a few words exactly as your colleague had said them, or recap the themes of part of the conversation and check for clarity. This shows you are paying attention and seeking to understand.

Use encouraging phrases

Use short prompts like, “Tell me more about that” to encourage them to continue speaking.

Allow silence

Don’t rush to fill silence as it gives them permission to keep talking and tell you more.

Empathise

You don’t have to feel obliged to validate their feelings. But it’s important to show understanding. You could say, “I understand this must be challenging for you right now”

Six mistakes to avoid

1. Problem-solve too quickly.

2. Talk about yourself too much.

3. Feel too much or too little.

4. Interrupt.

5. Argue or dispute.

6. Explain your perspective.